Waiting. And Waiting.

We're getting sick of waiting for the damn FDA to put their politics aside to help women. At least I am. While they're writing thier hands, delaying action, playing their political scenarios over and over in their heads - women are suffering. When will they make us stop waiting?

They make us wait for a decision to get Plan B over the counter. They make us wait 48 hours to get an abortion. "Sit tight" - they say, thinking they'll calm us down. They tell us to wait until we're married to have sex. If we do have sex, we're supposed to wait until he's ready to climax so we can do it together. We're supposed to wait to have families if we want careers - or wait to have careers if we want families. The clock keeps ticking. It'll only be a little longer until we are paid equally - until we have as many CEOs, or Senators, or Supreme Court judges. To the little girl who's anxious and ambitious people say, "hold your horses." She's supposed to wait a little longer, give everyone else the head start she knows she deserves. Wait a little longer, well, we're tired of waiting. We've been waiting too long and the results have been too shitty and we don't want to wait - don't need to wait. We can take what we want, what we deserve. We will not wait anymore. I will not wait anymore. I will not live my life by someone else's clock. Good things do not come to those who will wait - good things are coming to those who are making us wait - who think they can keep us sitting, twidling our thumbs - waiting for some benevolant man to give us the surprise we've been waiting for. They hope they'll keep us waiting for long enough - that we'll forget what it is we're waiting for.

Today is my last day at The Fresh Air Fund, and I have to admit, I am going to miss this place. I wrapped up the projects I'm working on and am now waiting for five o'clock. In the mean time, I have been surfing the net and stumbled upon a beautiful website, OurTruths.org. It is an online and print 'zine that hopes to unveil the mystery and stigma associated with abortion and allow women a chance to share their stories and experiences. Reading many of the women's stories, I find myself touched, confused, encouraged and enlightened.

What I've realized through reading the stories on this website along with others from different sources is that the emotions that come with abortion vary greatly. Just because someone is avidly pro-choice doesn't mean that they can't grieve their abortion - doesn't mean they can't have a moment where they wonder if they did the right thing. The fact is, abortion is a choice that should be included in the list of choices women have when deciding how to continue on after finding out they are pregnant. Anti-choice women seek abortions, just as pro-choice women choose not to. It would do us all good to step down from the political pedestal we have climbed and ground ourselves in what this issue is all about. It isn't about who's right or who's wrong - but allowing a woman to decide what is right for herself. Just as I disagree with the anti-choice mobs harrasing women outside of clinics, shoving plastic fetuses in their faces and proclaiming their damnation - I also don't agree with clinics that overbook appointments, forcing counseling sessions short, establishing a cold, calculated atmosphere. Women's clinics should be places of hope, of comfort, of peace. They should be a place women can take refuge in - where they can trust that the providers are invested in the outcome of their specific case. Where they can speak with a counselor for as long as they like - where they can feel comfortable about having an abortion - or leaving without one.

I myself have never had an abortion. I've know those that have. Until we find a place for their stories, we will not see change.

I've been working on various other personal statements today - mostly to take a break from studying for the LSAT - its killing me. I miss writing. I'll post a couple of other ones tomorrow. Pablo read the one below and pointed out that i didn't make the connection between accepting my identity and my motivation toward activism. I should talk more about a specific experience in scholars, I suppose. I mean, the whole idea of the "personal statement" is rather self serving. What I don't want to write (and what law schools don't want to see is) "Why I want to become a lawyer" or "This is how I want to change the world" or "What I did during my time abroad" --- I want to write something provocative, something that pushes my boundries - but, what really does that? Ugh. Maybe I should stick to the LSAT. I take another diagnostic this Saturday. Hopefully I'll get my 170 and relax.

So, I applied for graduation. Wow. I can't believe I really am entering my last semester. Very surreal.

I'm also narrowing down which law schools to apply to. Here's my list:

Columbia
NYU
Fordham
Brooklyn
Harvard
Yale
BU
Georgetown
Berkley (maybe)

as you can see, I didn't really allow myself too many "safety" schools as of yet. Once I take the LSAT that list might change. In the meantime, why sell myself short just yet?

I've spent the night cleaning up mouse shit with Pablo. How romantic. There was a lot!!! Totally repulsive.

We still don't know where they get in. We cleaned up and are setting traps.

One of the worst feelings in the world is going to bed and dreadfully waiting for the awful "SNAP" in the middle of the night. The actual noise isn't as bad as the anticipation. It's horrible.

Sweet dreams...

Ugh, I can't even write this entry without getting all grossed out - but I will.

We. have.... mice.

That's right, mice. Now, some of you might know my plight with another furry friend a few months ago. Quick recap: I got up one morning, walked to the fridge to get some water - when a little ball of fur scampered across the kitchen and under the fridge. We set some traps. Caught the mouse. Filled the hole behind the fridge where it must have come in. Thought it was just a one time thing.

But no. No no no.

I wondered what I was hearing during the night when Maya was here and why she kept getting up and sniffing the closet and our desk. Now I know.

Now, I'm fully aware that I live in New York City - and that mice come with the territory. I should be happy its just mice and not their larger cousin. I know that. But, when they invade your apartment - you're cute little apartment that you pride yourself on being a cozy clean home - I feel violated. "Not myyy apartment" I want to say to all those people who tell me its just a matter of time.

Well, that time has come. I haven't actually seen the mouse (or mice) yet. But they've left plenty of evidence. Besides the trails of poop that we found in the closet (gross!!) and behind the desk and in the kitchen--- these little shits are LOUD! And I mean loud. Last night I was in a dead sleep when their scurrying woke me up. My first reaction was to shake Pablo - so he in turn jumped out of bed and ran to turn the lights on. But of course, by then, it was too late. The mouse had outsmarted us, and was already back in the walls somewhere. He woke us up an hour later - this time sounding like he was doing an obstacle course in our kitchen. I can imagine him, zigzagging through the pans in the broiler --- it makes me shudder.

This morning we inspected the entire apartment, and, lo and behold, there were little droppings everywhere. At first glance, they don't look like poop - more like little specks of dirt --- don't let their innocent disguise fool you. It's shit. No way around that.

I don't like the idea of sharing my apartment with a rodent. I have nothing against them, they're kind of cute - but they need to find their own home. I'm hoping that now that Maya's gone (and her food is gone as well) - they'll realize they'res nothing in our apartment for them, and they should go back to the neighbors house.

Until then, all I can think about is a little mouse getting too comfy in my clogs.

Separation Anxiety, part 2

So, today is the last day we have with Maya. Pablo's parents get back from Mexico tonight and Maya is going home. I have to say, the past week and a half have been a great learning experience for the both of us. I personally have never had a dog, so learning how to walk her, pick up poop, when to feed her, etc was enough in and of itself - but the overarching theme of the week was responsibility. I've never in my whole life been responsible for the health and well being of another living thing - other than the random fish or hermit crabs I had as a child, which my parents would take care of. But having Maya in the apartment this week made me realize what true responsibility is.

Throughout the time she's been with us, various people have joked and said that we sounded like new parents - at first scared to leave her alone, overly aware of her every move, not knowing how to take care of her best. I guess on some level we were - and have learned the joy that is taking care of something and getting its appreciation. Obviously, having children of one's own and having a dog are two very different things - but on some level they do share similarities. What I realized was that being responsible for someone can be very rewarding - it's something that, when you're ready for and truly desire it - brings such feelings of joy. But, I can also imagine the resentment and disdain I would feel if I were forced to be responsible for the well being of someone else if I wasn't ready or able.

We all know I'm pro-choice. We all know that I advocate "every child a wanted child" - but it wasn't until this week that I really understood why - personally. I can't imagine taking care of a dog if I don't have the time, energy or resources -- how on earth would I take care of a child? And, while I know this is a very very generalized argument that doesn't fully translate - I also know that, on some level, it resonates within me - and I understand.

I firmly believe that, at the heart of it all, it all comes down to responsibility - though not necessarily accountability. Until a woman chooses to have a child - and actually does - she is responsible for her own body first and foremost. If and when she chooses to have a child, and when she does - then she becomes responsible for the life and well being of that child - but not before.

My newest purchase!

I just got it in the mail and I'm hooked! I've always wanted a "professional" planner - complete with the cheesy pages, and now I have it! I've spent the whole morning putting it together, reading about setting goals, prioritizing lists, etc. I really hope this will keep me organized. I'm working on managing my time more efficiently - so hopefully having it all in something sleek and put together will keep me on the right track.

Ok, so I'm a big dork. Sorry.

I've been musing lately about my roots - my background. Many people ask me, "How did a small town Texas girl like you end up in New York City?" What many of them mean by this question - I know because I hear it in their tone, in the slight inflection of the words is, "How did a good little Christian girl like you end up in a city full of sin?" And I'm not kidding here.

Yes, I had humble beginnings. Growing up in Grand Prairie, TX is the single most influencing aspect of my life, although I didn't realize it until I moved here. Unlike many of my liberal friends who were raised by likeminded parents, I was raised in the middle of the Bible Belt - and attended a Southern Baptish Church for most of my life. What I'm most thankful for is my parent's divorce. Not because they had a horrible marriage that I found myself in the middle of - but because through their divorce I had the chance to see my mother make it on her own. My mother, conservative in her own ways, is and always has been a pillar of strength in my life. My dad didn't run out of the picture, I still had and do have a relationship with him - albeit strained at times. But, there was something about living in a home solely with my mother from the time I was 7 until I moved to NYC. I saw her going to work every day - in her suits and high heels. I remember wanting so desperately to have a career like her. I heard her conversations with girlfriends about men - she was always giving advice - and I remember being so thankful that she never allowed a man to come between us. She never let a man define her. She always gave me what I needed and wanted. And, when it was time for me to go to college - she found a way (with a little help from my grandparents and a hefty scholarship) to foot 45,000 a year bill to NYU. I truly believe that the true female strength I saw in her outshined any sexist sermon I heard from a pulpit, any conservative politics I heard from my peers, and any demeaning messages I was told from the boys in my life. I realize how much she sacrificed for me, how lonely her nights must have been, and how helpless she must have felt when bills were due - but I'm so thankful for it. If my parents never had divorced - while I may have seen a functional marriage - I wouldn't have seen the independent woman I so desperately needed to see. I needed her so much because I knew, deep down inside me, was a wild woman like that. Without my mother shining light on her - I may have never explored the own depths within me. So, thanks mom. Not only for all the things you gave me - but for finding the strength within yourself to be the woman I want to be.

Without her influence I might have never found the courage to leave the comfortable surroundings of home and move to a place I knew I needed to be. Without her I might not have scoffed when a preacher told me I could never be a minister, but could be a "preacher's wife." Without her I might have thought I needed a man or a child to complete me and rushed into a lifestyle I wasn't ready for. Without her I might have been a little quieter, a little more self conscious, or a little less competitive. I might have settled. I'm so glad I didn't. I just hope she knows...

What a cute pic! This is the PR group out for Laura's birthday - we had such a great night! I love those girls!

The Insanity is spreading...

This article in the Times today, while not impeccebly written, shed much needed light on the limits women are facing internationally when attempting to obtain abortions. And I'm not talking about global gag rule consequences in sub-saharan Africa - we're talking Europe, people.

Europe, the continent many of us look to for guidence in their policies on universal healthcare, labor laws - and giving women freedom of choice. I remember growing up, my mom always telling me that, if we ever had to, she'd take me to France to get an abortion. (She wasn't totally serious - but the idea is there.) And, while the article talks mostly about eastern European countries with strong ties to the Vatican and post-communism economic woes- not France or the UK - what concerns me most is the influence of American policy. It's not unthinkable that US anti-abortion groups are beginning to send money and propaganda overseas - but its definitly unsettling.

On a related note, I'm contemplating volunteering for a group called the Haven Coalition - they are a wonderful organization and define grassroots activism. Lately I've felt a bit stalled in my attempts at change- yes I've been reading, growing intellecually in my beliefs, sharing them with others - but I'm never left compelty full. Haven is basically a network of women in New York who agree to host other women who travel to NYC to obtain second trimester abortions. Many of these women are young and spend all their money on the procedure and getting to New York, and don't have a place to stay for the two days they have to be here. Haven connects these women with a host - who agrees to take her to the clinic, pick her up, have dinner with her, and give her a place to lay her head. I think it would be a wonderful way to meet other women, share their stories, learn from each other - and grow in sisterhood. Becoming a host would also force me to push my own boundries - welcoming a stranger into my home has to be a challenging experience, but one that I'm sure is equally rewarding.

What intrigues me the most about the possibility is that it will force me to enter full force into the world of activist. This isn't a gender studies course or a letter writing night - this is someone's life. This is opening the door to a woman who needs you...who is you.

Anyway, time for bed.

Tonight I'm going to dinner with Laura and her parents, along with some of the girls from the wonderful Fresh Air Fund. I'm really looking forward to it. It's sad though, that this is one of the last times we'll all be together - this summer has been amazing. As much as I've bitched about going to work or spent my days there surfing the net or blogging when I should have been pitching stories or following up on emails (which all did get done, I'm not a slacker or anything - just distracted at times) --- I'm really going to miss that place and what it's meant to me. For one, it's been my first full time job - five days a week, eight hours a day -- I've gotton to experience, for the first time, what it really means to be an adult. As trite or oversimplified as it may sound - it's been eye-opening for me.

I think what surprised me most was how much I actually enjoyed the routine. I always prided myself on being that girl who hates routine - who loves being spontaneous and can't stand doing the same thing all the time. But, I have to admit, it was not only a comfort but a source of pleasure to know what my weeks would look like - to have a "to do" list for the day, to go to lunch from 1-2 on the roof with the girls - to stop off for coconut iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts in the afternoon, weekly PR meetings--- all the things that the past three months have been filled with.

I also liked the feeling of doing something that actually mattered. Not only was I working for a non-profit that helped children, children that I got to meet and hug and laugh with - but I had a job that, if I wasn't there, wouldn't get done. It's a nice feeling to know that you're needed. I know that anyone could do my job - its not like I felt I was irreplaceable - but more the feeling that I had a personal responsibility to my position. If I didn't pitch stories or follow up or get press releases out - less press about the organization would get printed and we'd have less support.

But, the summer is winding down to an end, and I'm leaving the job that's helped mold me into a responsible adult. I didn't do everything perfectly - but I think I did a good job.

Now its on to bigger and better things - other places, other jobs. I'll always take a part of this one with me. Not only the skills it taught me - but the memories of the office -- Iliza singing, Jill screaming, Lauren whining, and Laura looking like she's going to puke--- thanks girls. You made my summer.

School starts in less than a month. I can't believe that my last semester of college is so quickly approaching. Now, I don't want to turn this post into a sappy nostalgic mess - but I would like to think for a while about what the past three years have meant to me. Let's start with some lists.

Things I learned how to do.

1. Take the New York subway
2. Pretend like I know where I'm going when it's late at night.
3. Bullshit my way through a class when needed.
4. Throw myself into classes when I wanted to.
5. Following through with what I start.
6. Play beer pong.
7. Open a bottle of wine.
8. Look non-chalant when showing a fake ID
9. Formulate arguments that actually have substance.
10. Say what I really feel.
11. African tribal dances.
12. Avoid a hangover.
13. Get through a hangover.
14. Master the art of being on instant messenger while writing a term paper
15. Appreciate New York.
16. Appreciate home.

Top Ten Memories

10. Cooking dinner with Sarah in our apartment sophomore year.
9. Picking up gay men with David in Brooklyn when we were freshmen
8. Hearing the first full length play I've ever written read out loud.
7. Drinking homemade liquor in the pool with my MLK family in Brazil
6. Dave Osbourne's 21st birthday in St. Thomas
5. Watching the Clay Aiken video recording with Mel freshmen year so many times we broke the tape.
4. Finally kissing Pablo after 6 months of tension.
3. Skinnydipping with Jill and Mike off the beach in Puerto Rico
2. Spending the first night in the new apartment with Pablo
1.5. Playing in the snow in Washington Square park.
1. Valentine's Day 2004.

Regrets

1. Not studying abroad
2. Taking Pablo for granted
3. Having a boyfriend freshman year
4. Not going out enough.
5. Not being a good enough friend.

I could muse on my years at NYU all day I think - but that's not really the point. The point is that i have one more semester here - September to December - my last semester of college. What am I going to do with it? When I look back at my college days, how does the story end? I hope it ends with me getting accepted early decision to Columbia Law School - having a phenomenal thesis reading and tying up loose ends with all my friends. But, it also could end with no answers, just more questions. And I guess that would be okay too.

Ugh - seperation anxiety.

I'm taking this time to discuss something I've never dealt with - seperation anxiety in regards to an animal. Maybe there was a reason my mother would never let me have a pet growing up.

Pablo's parents are on a much deserved vacation for a week and a half - but while they're living it up on the beaches of Mexico, Pablo and I are caring for Maya, their whippet. I thought this would be a wonderful experience. I've been wanting a dog, and thought this would be a good trial run. And it has been. I don't think we'll ever get a dog in the city. Or have children. For a long time.

Now, I don't know why I thought Maya would just accept her new life in our small NYC apartment. I mean, who wouldn't want to stay in a studio all day alone? But yesterday, when I left for work, it was all I could do not to cry and run back inside when I heard her howling and scratching on the door.

She did it this morning too. I have no idea for how long. I hope my neighbors don't break down our door.

I'm going home from work in three hours. I don't know who's having a harder time with this - Maya or me. Or if I'm worried about her because I truly worry about her well being - or I'm just afraid our new carpet is going to be ruined by the excrements of a dog in panic.

Sigh.

I love pasta.

Pablo and I just went for a great italian dinner down the street. After a bottle of wine, salad, pasta and creme brulee - I'm feeling good. Just thought I'd share my happiness.

If everyone in the world could just sit down for a glass of chianti and a plate of pasta bolognase - it would be such a happier place.

Good night :-)

okay, okay, I know I shouldn't be reading conservative sites- its only going to infuriate me more - but sometimes I can't help being a little masochistic. And I like to know my enemy. I couldn't pass up posting this from Focus on the Family's website. James Dobson on differences between the grown sexes.

With 10 to 20 times more testosterone, men are more likely to strive for power, status, fame and wealth.

All 43 presidents of the United States have been men.

Nearly 90 percent of today’s U.S. senators are men.

More than 98 percent of the chief executive officers of Fortune 500 corporations are men.

Feminists like to cite such statistics and claim that patriarchy and discrimination prevail in our culture. “The more likely explanation, however, is biochemical and anatomical,” says Dr. James Dobson.

Do statistics like these suggest that men are superior to women? No! The sexes are simply different. The differences should never be used as an excuse for demeaning females. Instead, we need to teach boys to be respectful to women and girls, to never hit or take something from girls, to be self-disciplined and willing to share, to be honest and caring.

Let's teach our boys that, those poor women can't help it that they weren't wired with the abilities they were lucky enough to have - so make sure you're always really nice to the girls. And, some of them might try to say they're just as smart as you - but its just because they're jealous.

Abstinence "non" education - part 2

After thinking a lot about the state of sex education in our country, I thought back to the sex education I had recieved as a child. My school district, like many in Texas, used a curriculum called "Aim for Success". I remember sitting in the auditorium once a year listening to the same program from 6th grade until 10th. (So they were giving 12 year olds the same curriculum as 17 year olds - smart.) I remember hearing all those lies that we laugh about now when we read about federally funded programs.

I remember we played a game where we passed around a horn - every couple of seconds the man leading the program would tell the person holding it at that moment to honk the horn and stand up. By the end, over half the students in the room were standing. You can see what's coming. The man leading the program said, "Everyone who is standing has contracted an STD. Most of you were even using condoms when you had sex. Some of you are now infertile. Some will have recurring outbreaks, many of you will die."

Talk about uplifting.

I found the website to Aim for Success. They offer three different types of programs. Let's look at the options:

Program 1
Aim for Success Program
Why Choose Abstinence: It Protects. (ok, I agree)
Dreams and Goals: Affected by your choices. (yeah, like, choosing where to go to college...)
Pregnancy: No easy solutions. (Right, if you get pregnant, you're doomed to be a welfare whore for life.)
Sexually Transmitted Diseases: A description of the leading STDs many of which are incurable and can lead to infertility, reoccurring sores, cancer and death. (one of the most misleading statements. Especially when the infection they use most often to illustrate infertility and cancer is HPV, a virus that over 65% of sexually active people carry - though most strands are harmless, and never cause cancer - especially when women have regualr pap smears that can detect cervical changes.)
Emotional Scars: Can last a lifetime. (Give me a break)
Failure Rate of Contraceptives: Pregnancy, STDs, and emotional scars can occur even with a condom. (Yeah, and they occur more without one!)
Alcohol and Drugs: One of the leading reasons why teens have sex. (so lets not equip them with knowledge of condoms and birth control)
How Far is Too Far: Setting boundaries. (no "heavy petting" - ala 1950)
Making a New Start: Rewrapping the gift of virginity. (ah yes, the plight of the "born-again virgin")

Program 2
Freedom to Succeed Program
Why Choose Abstinence: It's the Law (umm, ok...)
Dreams and Goals: Good choices bring good consequences. (and, I guess bad ones = having sex)
Child Support: Who pays, how much, and for how long? (Boys, keep your thing in your pants if you don't want to go broke!)
How does the Law Define Sex? It's very specific! (but we aren't going to go into specifics - that would be obscene)
Teen Sex Laws: Sex with a minor can be rape even if it was consensual. (good job, let's scare them out of doing it!)
Guess the Age: Can you pick the girls that are underage? (this just seems wrong....)
Sex Offender Registration: Who, how, what, and for how long. (boys, you don't want your picture up here, do you?)
Pornography: Unlawful, dangerous and distorts sex. (no sex positive porn here! And since when was porn against the law...?)
Sexual Harassment: Defined for students with examples. (good idea. really.)
The Best Protection: The pill, condoms, oral sex, just touching, or abstinence? Only abstinence gives 100% protection! (agree with the statistic...but you're leaving out a huge point. While only abstinence is 100% effective against STI's and pregnancy, if one chooses to have sex, using a combination of a hormonal form of birth control with a condom is the most effective way to reduce chances of contracting an STI or getting pregnant.)

Program 3
Achieve Success Program
How to Live the Abstinence Lifestyle
Dreams and Goals: Goals help you achieve success. (and your goal better not be to have sex before you're married. That is not success.)
Problems of Sexual Activity: Pregnancy, STDs and emotional scars. (what about the advantages of sexual activity???)
Dealing with Differences in Guys and Girls: Girls are excited by touch. Guys are excited by sight... So girls be careful how you dress! (really, I have nothing to say to this. I am so appauled that anyone would actually voice this to teenager women. "If a guy harasses you, it's your fault since you were dressed like a whore." I want to vomit. I've also never met a guy who wasn't excited by touch...)
Dealing with Pornography: Pornography never satisfies and always leaves you wanting more! (I'm sure many people could argue against this...)
Dealing with Peer Pressure: A N.I.C.E way to say No! (because all young ladies should be nice...)
Dealing with the Pressure of Romance: Is it love or a crush?
Dealing with Media Pressure: How does the media influence your decisions?
The Pressures of Drugs and Alcohol: Destroys self-control.

And there you have it. Pick door 1, 2, or 3 - but you'll find the same thing behind all of them...

LIES.

Feeling defeated and infuriated. Hoping the latter prevails...

So, Pataki followed through with his promise today, vetoing a bill that would have increased access to emergency contraception to the women of New York state. A bill that could have decreased the amount of abortions in New York by 80,000. But, Pataki's worried about the children. The little lost lambs that could fall into the lair of the big bad wolf. Now, I don't know what immature girls he's thinking of - but I can think of no reason that a woman - be her 16 or 35 would go to a pharmacy to get emergency contraception than for one reason - she wants to prevent pregnancy. No one needs a doctor to tell you that you don't want to get pregnant. And, if a 15 year old girl is responsible enough to go to the drug store and attempt to purchase a drug that she knows will help her - even while facing the inevitable embarrassment (think about buying condoms when you were 16) - than she is obviously not as "vulnerable" as Pataki thinks.

His other reasons for the veto: the bill wouldn't limit the purchase to a single dose, and, my favorite, men could buy the drug to persuade young girls to have unprotected sex with them. What's wrong with allowing women to buy more than one dose of EC? If anything, its a good thing to have around in case something goes wrong. Hasn't he seen the new Rosie the Riveter posters saying, "Back up your birth control"?

As for men using the drug as a persuasion in soliciting sex - come on Pataki - give us some credit. We've been dealing with the "if you loved me you'll do it" and the "I shoot blanks" lines for years. What makes you think we can't deal with one more?

I'm at a loss for what to say about this anymore. It's an embarrassment to New York.

The FDA has promised to give a ruling on the OTC availability of EC by September 1st....I just hope no one on the panel is planning on running for president and needs to convince a conservative base...

Inspiring woman of the day - Kelli M. Conlin

This is a wonderful profile from the New York Times today. I think its a great statement that just because a woman chooses to become a mother doesn't mean her pro-choice values go out the window. That's an issue I think many women today struggle with -- "can I be a mother withut looking like a hypocrite?" And the answer is a resounding yes. I plan on becoming a mother one day - hopefully - but only when I (and my partner) feel absolutly ready. That's what "choice" is about. So many anti-choice people throw around the statement that "choice" = abortion. They love to use the argument of how we the pro-choicers have just learned to create a euphanisim that glosses over our support of abortion. But that's not the case at all. I don't consider myself "pro-abortion" - I do, however, believe that the choice to have an abortion is a personal one a woman makes. Abortion, just like adoption or raising a child is a valid choice - and one that shouldn't be swept under the rug. It hurts me that women, even those that consider themselves pro-choice, sometimes look at abortion as something shameful. It's one of those choices that one shouldn't have to make - but does. It's the delicate string on which the phrase "safe, legal and rare" hangs from. While I believe the statement, I also know that by saying abortions should be "rare" that we are conceding (or could be percieved as conceding) the fact that abortion isn't necesarrily right. But, I guess what it comes down to is that abortions should be rare - not because the act of them are wrong - but because the situations in which a woman is forced to choose are not situations many of us would want to find ourselves in. I wouldn't wish an unintended or unwanted pregnancy on anyone - I can't imagine what survivors of rape or incest go through - I know my heart would be broken if I found out that a fetus I was carrying was so disabled, it would never survive. None of these situations are those we wake up and hope will happen. But they do. And when they do - women have the right to make their own choice as to what happens next. Abortion is a valid choice. And one that no woman should ever feel she has to keep shamefully silent about.

That is what being pro-choice is. The desire to empower women to make thier own reproductive choices. Most women will make more than one choice in their lifetimes - all of them which are right.

A pro-choice woman was once approached by an anti-choice person who said to her, "If your mother would have had an abortion, you wouldn't be here."

The woman replied, "Actually, my mother did have an abortion. And I wouldn't be here if she didn't."

I'm watching the Today show, and am again, fuming at the ease Katie Couric throws out her moral judgments. I'll find a link to the story later, but basically, there is a Catholic school teacher in upstate New York (a woman) who is being charged with raping two 16 year old students. The students came forward at some point and said they had sex with her (not sure how it unfolded.) She was found in a car with a student in June, but he was 17, which is the age of consent in New York. Now, I'm not going to go into details about whether or not I think this was rape, if it was consentual, etc-- what I was upset with was how Couric categorized it. She said, "This is a deeply troubling case. A married teacher, mother of four, married to a prominent banker" she might as well have said, "why the hell would she do this?" I don't know why she did it. It was a pretty irresponsible decision - but the pure fact that she's married with four kids sure doesn't hold up. I mean, come on, are we really still in that place where we say to women, "you're married, you're a mother, what more could you want?" If this was a male teacher - while I believe the media would be painting a picture of a pediphile, sex addicted man - what they wouldn't be saying is, "but he's married with four kids - why on earth would he want to have sex with beautiful young women?" It's the bitch of a double standard. And while I'm not condoning her actions, Ms. Couric should know better than to think that marriage + family always equals complete satiety.

"In George Pataki's New York, a 17-year-old can obtain an abortion without restriction. But if that same 17-year-old tries to prevent that abortion by using emergency contraception, she will be turned away." Can you taste the hypocrisy? Whatever Pataki thinks he's doing - no one is buying it, and it's only a matter of time until his bubble bursts. The sad thing is, how many women are going to suffer because of his mistake?

By the way...since this is a new blog I'm trying to figure out who's reading it. If you stop by, can you leave me a quick post to say that you did? I'd greatly appreciate it and would love to hear what you have to say!

For those of you in the New York area - this is a really important event to attend, especially since Pataki has said he will veto this bill. Let's at least show him we won't go down silently!


EC RALLY AUGUST 4!

URGE PATAKI TO SIGN THE EC BILL INTO LAW!

Next week the Unintended Pregnancy Prevention Act will land on Governor Pataki's desk for his signature. He will have 10 days to make his decision. Governor Pataki's signature on this important legislation will expand access to EC, allow women to make responsible choices about their reproductive health, and prevent countless unintended pregnancies.
The Unintended Pregnancy Prevention Act would make emergency contraception, also known as the morning-after pill, available to women directly from trained pharmacists, registered nurses, and midwives. EC is an effective, FDA-approved, method of pregnancy prevention when taken within days after unprotected sex, contraceptive failure or sexual assault. However, it is most effective when taken within the first 24 hours.

WHAT: EC Rally DATE: Thursday, August 4

TIME: 5:00 pm

LOCATION: Across from 633 3rd Ave., between 40th & 41st Streets, opposite from Governor Pataki’s NYC Office FOR MORE

INFO: Contact ewynbrandt@prochoiceny.org or 212-343-0114 ext. 21

Make your voice heard along with medical professionals and leading advocates from sexual
assault, domestic violence, and HIV/AIDS organizations. Tell Governor Pataki that expanded access to EC is important for the health of all New York women.

SIGN MAKING VOLUNTEER NIGHT!
On Tuesday, August 2, 6:00 pm, NARAL is hosting an EC sign-making night to prepare for Thursday's rally.

45 Howard Street, 3rd floor, one block north of Canal at Broadway
6:00 pm

Contact ewynbrandt@prochoiceny.org or 212-343-0114 ext. 21

Thank you for taking this final step with us to expand access to emergency contraception in New York State!

So, now we see where his loyalty lies... Pataki has decided to veto a bill that will hithis desk this Saturday - a bill that has the potential to change this lives of women in NY and give them access to Emergency Contraception without a prescrition. Pataki’s decision is worse than a slap in the face – and we should all be shaking our heads. We were duped. We supported Pataki for his seemingly progressive views on reproductive freedom – and applauded him for breaking with the party line. But we spoke too soon. Apparently the politics of contemplating a run for president are more important than the health of women of New York State.

Besides, Pataki has always been pro-choice. What makes him think the religious right is going to accept him now? I shudder at the thought of writing it – but maybe Pataki could stand to learn a thing or two about conviction from Bill Frist.

As for the desire to “protect minors” – how is restricting access to emergency contraception “protection”? Do we want our young women to experience unplanned pregnancy? If that’s the case, then I think we’re on the right track…